Is it strange that I enjoy walking up and down the aisles of supermarket? And that, when I'm out I make it a point to at least spend half an hour in a supermarket, though there is nothing I want to buy?

Another reason why I need help.

I should just take a staple gun and shoot me till I pee blood. I swear. I said I wanted to study for physics right but all I did was stare at the notes hoping for some knowledge osmosis to occur.

Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself. My brain is like so inactive now like by some measures of possibility, I could just be too f lazy to breathe.

All I need is coffee now. Yeah stock up on all that shit.

I feel random, brown chicken brown cow. Say that fast. Real fast. Just the brown chicken brown cow. Haha. Weeird.

So how was your day my virtual friend? Ooo that is straight up awesome. Nahh, I have not even bathe so I can't. Yeah yeah fo shizzle.

I need serious help.

Seriously, anyone who is just incredibly bored should just go to YouTube and read the comments posted back and forth at the end of a video.

It's like the stupidest yet funniest shit ever written by anyone who is smart enough to turn on their comp.

I just read someone said "people with cancer should be executed". Funniest shit that couldn't make me laugh.

On a sidenote, a levels is kinda weird. I don't know, was hoping for the satisfaction after every paper but only felt that for gp and maths paper 2.

And nobody really expected religion to cone out cos it came out last year. But I was praying it would and my 2 pet topics came out in one question, religion and politics. That's the one nice thing for this week.

Okay Physics now.

Omg! I cannot believe I did this! I cut bangs today! Like I've been wanting to do this since forever but I was too lazy to even entertain that thought and when I did, I was too scared to do it. Yeah pussy, I know.

But the length of my hair is shorter than the long hair I had but longer than the short hair I used to have. I make sense totally right! Hahaha but I don't know la I look funny with this new do... Like finally, hello face!

Whatever la I'm just like omg I finally got round to doing this! Haha. K ciao balls.

Haha I just found this app. Thanks to Atiqah. Anyhoo, was thinkin that I honestly make a pretty good stalker. Like I don't have to try very hard. Haha.

I smsed Atiqah 3x in less than an hour in china just now cause I was legit bored. I don't even know why I'm sharing things that don't matter.

Aircon still spoilt la. Bloody hot hell.

Like you remember I once said that if ever, if ever, I write anything stupid, I'd grow myself a dick? It seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy, I swear. By the looks of it, or rather the feel of it, I am almost certain I am about to write something stupid again. Whatever la, if somehow a dick grows out of me, I'll castrate it and we'll roll again.

I am so goddamned sleepy and the only reason why I'm awake other than because I need to do some work is because my bloody aircon is spoilt. Effectiveness of studying is directly proportional to functioning of aircon.

And now I'm sitting in the living room with a hopeless, space consuming (notice the dumbness in my argument) ceiling fan which should just explode itself and stop working. Cause as it is, it doesn't seem to be producing much effect.

My mother is hand-fanning my hamsters, can you freaking believe that? What has my world come to?

18 years on in my life and this is the first time I am so uncertain of myself. I've never doubted myself on anything but on this momentous year, doubt is in my every pore. Sometimes things can get too late but fuck that, I'm not going down without a fight. But I cannot fight in this heat.

Like my biggest concern is Physics. Mr Ng Kar Kit once said that he didn't expect full passes for A's and that scared the shit out of me cause knowing that if the world is governed by only Physics law, I'd be breaking one after another effortlessly. I am scared, like legit. Never have I been this scared.

I'm seeing some improvement in Maths and that's fine but Physics is my biggest shit man. 2 years in MJC and another 2 years in TK taking Physics, I studied so much of it last term and still that does not suffice. At some point, it's disheartening. It's dissapointing. It's scary.

I have never felt this inferior. This incompetent, that this whole thing is breaking me as a person.

I remembered last year I was doing a similar post while doing orientation proposal. Haha. One year has passed. Nothing much have changed. I used to think when I was 15, my 18th birthday gonna be the shizzz. Like I'm gonna drink and take em weeds and smoke my ass off. Haha I am kidding.

I never really expect anything for birthdays like I think th best gift is just wishing me happy birthday but hell, if you're about to get me a white Volkswagen, by all means don't let me stop you. And when I read my smses and they say "18th", I just can't help feeling this foggy old person who is just very old.

And Kai told me I can have sex already. Of course that's what I'll do in my first hour as an 18 year old cause everything else is not important. Haha. If anything, for th first time I have plans for this one year anh hopefully it'll come through. 17 was alright but I'm hoping 18 is the shizz man.

Happy 18th birthday to me!